Mother lets daughter smoke cigarettes


  • Dear Adoption, You Are Cigarette Smoke
  • When your toddler discovers smoking
  • “Yes, Your Kid is Smoking Pot” What Every Parent Needs to Know
  • Back to Top Quick Read Vaping has gotten much more popular among teenagers in the past few years. Now, many more teenagers use e-cigarettes, like the brand JUUL, than traditional cigarettes. There are restrictions on the sale and advertising of e-cigarettes to young people, but many teenagers still use them. E-cigarettes, vape pens and JUULs are all different devices for heating the liquid. Research shows that vaping has many medical risks. E-cigarettes contain a lot of nicotine, which is very addictive.

    Getting addicted to nicotine can make it harder for teenagers to focus and concentrate. E-cigarettes also contain chemicals that could cause cancer, and there are many reports of serious lung problems connected to vaping. Additionally, vaping can make teenagers more likely to start smoking regular cigarettes. Try asking if other kids at their school vape, and what they think about it. By finding out what they already know, you can start helping them understand the risks.

    This usually works better than just telling them that vaping is wrong. If your child is addicted to vaping, make sure to get care from an addiction specialist. Addiction to nicotine from vaping can be even more serious than addiction to regular cigarettes. Full Article 7 min read Although e-cigarettes have been around for more than a decade, vaping rates have skyrocketed in recent years, especially among teens.

    E-cigarettes are now the most frequently used tobacco product among adolescents — some 2. JUUL, a popular vape device that comes in fun flavors, looks like a flash drive and can be charged in a USB port, is especially concerning. JUUL delivers high levels of nicotine, making the product extremely addictive.

    JUUL sales now make up more than half of the e-cigarette market. What is vaping? What originated as a smoking cessation aid has quickly became a popular — and addictive — product in its own right. Sarper Taskiran , MD, a child and adolescent psychiatrist at the Child Mind Institute, attributes the recent rise in popularity to packaging and advertising.

    Some known risks of vaping are: E-cigarettes contain high levels of nicotine. Because of these high nicotine levels, vaping is extremely addictive — and teens are already more susceptible to addiction than adults because their brains are still developing , which makes them more likely to habituate to using drugs and alcohol.

    Addiction can impact the ability to focus. Taskiran has observed this with the adolescents he works with, who report that vaping initially increases their alertness and attention, but then experience a decrease in attention span. One study found that vaping does, in fact, cause lung irritation akin to that seen in smokers and people with lung disease and causes damage to vital immune system cells.

    There have been several deaths and hundreds of cases of lung illness attributed to vaping. The CDC and the American Medical Association are recommending that people avoid vaping entirely while this is being investigated. Taskiran notes that vaping increases heart rate and blood pressure, so can increase circulatory problems.

    One teen he works with started vaping and found that his swim times dropped because he can no longer sustain the heart rate required for swimming. Since they leave little odor, e-cigarettes are particularly easy to hide and even use discreetly in public places, including school. Kids are also vaping marijuana at increasing rates, which brings its own health risks. The packaging does little to convey the risks. Plus, he points out, smoking never stopped being cool.

    If the kids had been across the street, not on school grounds, it would have been a different scenario. But the principal said that had they been in high school rather than middle school, she would have called the police. Although some places are tightening restrictions locally, kids can still go to a website, click a button that says they are at least 21 years old, and purchase online.

    How to talk to kids about vaping Dr. Taskiran recommends starting the conversation more generally by asking if a lot of kids at school vape. What are the flavors like? My goal has always been open communication and to keep him talking to us.

    He did! Prevention is a lot easier than treatment later on, he says, and notes that peer education can play a particularly important role. If you are concerned that your child has become addicted there are plenty of treatment options. Taskiran recommends consulting with a clinician who is well-versed in addiction treatments. Katherine Martinelli Katherine Martinelli is a journalist who has published internationally on a variety of topics including parenting, food, travel and education.

    Patty fondly recalls her own first cigarette, an illicit Viceroy she puffed while crouched behind a sand dune at Good Harbor Beach with her best friend Allison. Susie reminds us how much fun smoking was, and suggests we all take up the habit again. I run my fingertips over the names of his eleven grandchildren, engraved in small cursive script on its face.

    How many times had I watched him tilt his wrist to flip open the top? And then, with an expert flick of his thumb, produce the heady scent of lighter fluid, and as if by magic, a tall yellow flame.

    Two All of my first impressions appear in soft focus; our home a foggy haze, the faces of my parents separated from me by a veil of exhaled smoke. The scent of it permeates the wallpaper, the nubby plaid upholstery of the family room couch, the window curtains, my hair, and all of my little-girl clothes. The smoke was background, constant. I knew no different.

    Three When I am young, I am fascinated by things that exist but cannot be seen. I am convinced a crocodile lives under my bed, arriving only in the dark. Every night, I execute a running leap into bed from halfway across the room. I am certain a previous resident died in our home and continues to visit us, as evidenced by creaks in the old staircase just outside my door, or a sudden sense that someone is sitting at the end of my bed after the house becomes dark and still.

    I am also intrigued by air. I can breathe it, but not touch it. For a while I am sure I can see air. Lying in bed in the early morning half-light, do I just imagine tiny dots of black and white surrounding me?

    My younger sister and I share a room, our twin beds placed foot to foot against the far wall. She does not worry about reptiles under the bed. She does not clutch her Raggedy Ann tight to her chest in fear of ghostly visitors. And when I ask if she too can see the air the way I do, in tiny dotted patterns that float in front of my eyes and flow from my chest, she sighs and tells me to go back to sleep. Four The accoutrements of smoking litter our home. Packages of cigarettes, books of matches, and disposable lighters in primary colors are strewn about dressers and countertops.

    Ashtrays can be found on bathroom sinks, end tables, windowsills, the clothes dryer, and on each end of the dining room table. The ashtrays my mother favors are easy to identify by the snuffed-out snub of white filter etched with a ring of red lipstick. I love to open its lid, enjoy the thunk it makes when dropped shut. The case is filled occasionally when company is expected, and the long white cigarettes look elegant nestled in that fancy box. Even though my sisters and I witness my mother regularly taking food off the belt at Purity Supreme when her subtotal climbs too high, the filled cigarette case gives our home an aura of sophistication and excess.

    Help yourself, it seems to say. We have plenty. Five I am four years old in when the surgeon general officially declares smoking unhealthy and linked to lung cancer, but my parents are already career smokers. They smoke in the morning with their coffee. They smoke while driving in the car, talking on the telephone, while drinking Manhattans in the evening before dinner. They smoke after meals and at work.

    My father is able to hold full conversations, hands free, with a cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth, while he carves a roast with an electric knife. My mother smokes while folding laundry and cooking dinner and driving to pick my father up from the train.

    All white with a thin double black line where the tobacco meets the filter. By the time I reach elementary school, the teachers are in on the act, showing us pictures of happy pink lungs, and comparing them to pictures of the black crusty lungs of smokers.

    All of the adults I love the best: my mother, father, grandparents, and aunts—all smoke. I wonder: Are their lungs coal-colored, rotting in their chests? Will their next, damaged breath be their last? One night, while my parents sit at either end of the dining room table, drinking their after-dinner coffee and smoking their after-dinner cigarettes, my sister Nancy reproduces an experiment suggested by her third-grade teacher.

    She has my father exhale his cigarette through a clean white tissue, and when he does, it leaves behind a brown smudge. She holds the Kleenex up by its corners for all to see. Well, I think, hugely relieved, assuming my parents are also picturing their lungs covered in splotches of small dark circles. That will be that. My mother gently taps the end of her cigarette into the glass ashtray in front of her and sips her coffee.

    My mother and father exchange small smiles from each end of the dining room table, as if they have a secret. I shake my head, push back my chair, and clear my plate in silence. Six New England winters are not kind.

    One of my chores is to pour water from a pitcher into metal cups attached to the end of the radiator in each room, in an attempt to add some moisture to the dry winter air. Still, we all get sick. Colds, fevers, and coughs that lodge deep inside our chests. If you have a fever, you get to stay home from school. My mother will crack ice cubes into chips with a claw-like metal press and leave them at your bedside in a cereal bowl with a spoon. When every breath leads to a barking cough, the hiss of steam scented with Vicks VapoRub is the only chance for relief.

    On frigid nights, while icicle spikes frame the roof of our house, I burrow under my Flower Power comforter, position my head so the mist is aimed at my open mouth, and wait for sleep to come. Seven Susie, the oldest, starts smoking at fourteen.

    She and her friend Pam get by for a while stealing occasional cigarettes from unsupervised packs left around their respective homes. But soon, this approach becomes too risky. You can only steal when the pack is mostly full, otherwise the missing cigarette may be noticed.

    The two closest stores are out of the question. But the Winchester Hospital is only one block away and the lobby coffee shop sells cigarettes. The hospital coffee shop is run by volunteers, elderly ladies in dark pink uniform jackets, heavy hairspray, and eyeglasses that hang from chains around their necks. They are eager to please. Susie and Pam scrounge together all of their spare change, forge a note from an adult requesting a pack of Winstons, and elect me to go in.

    I agree without hesitation. Susie has breasts and boyfriends. She and her friends do things like straighten their hair on the ironing board and brush blue shadow on their eyelids. But first, Susie and Pam decide I need to be transformed. My own attempts at cool include frayed jeans and old football jerseys, my hair unkempt and parted in the middle like Carole King. They think I should look like a different kind of girl, and use the neighborhood Goody Two-shoes, Sally Hunter, as a template.

    They comb my stringy hair and part in on the side, clipping it to my head with a plastic barrette. They change me into a plain t-shirt and top it with a white cardigan, top button buttoned, and corduroy pants they instruct me to pull up high, so the hem looks slightly too short. Somehow the older girls have procured a toddler in a stroller, a neighborhood child they babysit, and the picture is complete.

    I am an innocent, dorky girl taking care of her younger brother while running an errand for her mother. And where is my mother while all of these preparations are underway? Why do we have so much unsupervised free time? My mother is recovering from birthing and raising four girls born a year apart; girls she believes can finally be safely left alone for a few hours. She may be playing tennis, but if the weather is nice, she is most likely driving her red Cougar aimlessly around the west side of town, slightly faster than the speed limit allows, convertible top down, with a lit Parliament resting between the first two fingers of her right hand.

    She may be imagining what it would be like to keep driving west, farther and farther away from her husband and daughters, the dinner she is expected to execute, the load of unfolded laundry still in the dryer, away from the never-ending dust that swirls and settles on every surface no matter how many times she wipes it away. Perhaps as she drives, she alternately breathes in gulps of spring-scented air and long drags of smoke in an attempt to fill herself up after all we have emptied from her.

    The purchase goes off without incident. The volunteer at the cash register is so taken with the baby she hardly glances at my note. I wheel the stroller out of the hospital lobby triumphant, a fresh pack of Winstons tucked in my front pocket.

    I pinch the filter awkwardly, take tentative puffs, choke and cough, still dressed as Sally Hunter. I am eleven years old. Slide a fresh pack of cigarettes out of the carton that lives near the toaster on the kitchen counter.

    Turn the pack upside down. Slip the butter knife under one end of the cellophane where it is folded neatly like a Christmas present. Lift gently until the folds release and repeat on the other side. Once the cellophane is opened, ease the box out of its wrapper, without tearing the cellophane!

    When the box is free, flip over and unhinge the top. You will now encounter a foil covering, also neatly folded like a Christmas gift. Do not tear the foil! Choose a cigarette from the top right-hand corner, and remove it from the box with a light pinch on the filter.

    At this point, you may have the urge to declare success, to sneak into the basement and light up, but you are not yet out of the woods! You may also be tempted to pinch a second cigarette, having gone through so much work to open the pack in the first place. A pack of cigarettes with one missing will go unnoticed.

    The more a child uses, the more you will see negative emotions and moodiness build up.

    Dear Adoption, You Are Cigarette Smoke

    This was the case with my own child. You will see increasingly dramatic personality changes. I focus on their love of family, their self-respect, and the respect they get from others.

    As parents, of course, we get confused by the normal ups and downs of adolescence. But if you have a to year-old going through some unusual or serious emotional changes and relationship changes, be on your toes.

    Are you doing any of the following: Do you try too hard to talk yourself out of your fears? How often do you frequently making excuses for your child? Are you protecting your child from the natural consequences of their actions? Take a deep breath and allow your children to experience the consequences of their actions and decisions. When you suspect your child might be using drugs, the faster you can jump in and be authoritative, decisive, and strong, the better.

    You have to be like steel with this disease. When they are using alcohol or other drugs on a regular basis, kids can be incredibly manipulative and they will lie to your face. They are masters of deception and manipulation. The truth is that they have to lie to protect their ability to continue to use.

    Always remember: for an addicted person, the poison is the antidote to the withdrawal symptoms. Once addicted, the poison is what keeps away the pain, at least in the short run. And remember, you are the parent. Your first role is to support and protect your child. Cut the money off. Guard your wallet. Check wall sockets, look in their shoes, and take every bit of medication in your medicine cabinet and put it someplace under lock and key.

    Therefore, I would advise that you keep all prescription medication in a safe, inaccessible place in your house. What should you do if your child is addicted to drugs?

    There is not enough compassion out there for parents whose kids are addicted. Addiction is the wiliest disease that there is. The addict knows the pain of not using withdrawal and in time they become a prisoner of their addiction.

    You have to stand firm. And realize that your child has a disease because it will allow you to be objective and not take their anger personally. This will help you be more effective in your efforts to get them some help. The enemy is not your child. The enemy is the addiction that has taken over their life, mind, heart, and spirit. Approach the problem with love first. But I will do everything in my power to help you get better. How should you go about seeking treatment for your child?

    Work with your doctor to find the best treatment center you can for your child. The first step will be to have a chemical dependency assessment done.

    Your doctor should be able to direct you to a reputable institution that can do this. Or they may tell the child that smoking marijuana is not a problem as long as they keep it under control.

    Believe it or not, this happened to me when I took our son to the doctor to talk about his marijuana use, and it has happened to other parents I know. A good place to start looking for a program is through the American Society of Addiction Medicinean arm of the American Medical Association.

    When your toddler discovers smoking

    But do this only after your child has been in treatment for several weeks. Addiction creates its own mental health issues, so you need to wait until the drugs are out of the system before you can get an accurate assessment.

    If the treatment is only 28 days, which is the standard inpatient stay, make sure that when your child is released that they have support resources lined up. Support resources may include attending Alcoholics AnonymousNarcotics Anonymousor meeting regularly with a counselor or case manager.

    Talk to teachers, family members, and friends and ask for their support. Educate them about addiction and recovery. A child who has all those supports in place has a good chance to stay clean and sober. Without that support, about 80 percent of kids relapse. There are two reasons to seek help as early as you can.

    Find someone who can see the problems quickly and who understands adolescent addiction and co-occurring mental health problems. The second reason is to get help for yourself. Try to find a support group in your area. Contact your local hospitals and community center. Our support group continues to be a lifeline for us as we reach out to others who are going through what we went through. The way you speak about her not being able to get an addiction makes me think you have given her the mindframe that she doesn'tapply to the facts.

    Let her know she does! Both my parents are big time smokers, and they had three kids, me, my little sister, and our little brother. We were all 12 months apart, and yet only our little brother smokes regularly.

    He started smoking when he was 16 also, and they just made it clear that they would not support his habits. I really don't think you're going to be able to make her stop, so what I suggest shockbyte server specs do is let her smoke around you. If you and your wife don't smoke, then I'd have her do it outside on the porch or something so your house doesn't get all stained up and smelly.

    My little brother is 18 now and I think the only reason he's not a pack a day or more smoker is because he didn't have to hide it from my parents. They did however make him smoke outside until he was of legal age, but that was mostly because it upset my mother. Good luck on this issue. First off, like everyone else i say no to the smoking as well.

    If you let her smoke, especially around you, then she will think it is ok to do so and might possible try more things, and you don't want her to do that.

    If you want to get her to stop smoking, you have to give her a hard lesson The best thing to do is find someone who has smoked, an show her now horriable shape they are in now. This mom one time caught her son smoking, rather then punish him she took him to a retirement home an showed him the affects of smoking, if you could find someone who breaths out of there neck would be a big example since this scares young girlsor just find someone who is having a hard time and let them talk to your daughter about it and how they wished they wouldnt of smoked, or even show pictures of what could happen inside her lungs.

    I think that will make a bigger impact then anything, it will show her what can happen and give her a dose of reality. You wont be punishing her, since i also agree that you don't wanna punish your kid for being honest, it is great that your daughter was so honest with you, but it will show her what can happen, and will inform her of the risks, which is very important.

    If she thinks continueing to smoke is ok, as much as i hate to say this, then i would probably go ahead with your plan so you dont' have to worry about her getting in trouble.

    But hope this helps. You become her enabler then and that's not a good position for you to be in. You also put yourself and wife at risk for second hand smoke yes it can cause cancer.

    “Yes, Your Kid is Smoking Pot” What Every Parent Needs to Know

    You can't micromanage her behavior but you can set the rules within your own house. You can also control who she sees. You should always know who she is seeing and when she's expected back. If she's as mature as an 18 year oldshe will understand and respect the laws that tell her that she can't smoke in a restaurant or your house. I don't think you can "curb" her use at home? My aunt recently died of lung cancer.

    It was a direct link to smoking she could never kick. These tobacco companies knew what they were doing. Your child should not be a victim too! Protect her.

    That is a tough one. I would say no if she at least doesn't smoke at home she is going to smoke less. If you let her smoke at home that's not going to help anything because unless you forbid her to see her friends she will still have an opportunity to experiment with more things. As easy as you take the smoking she is going to think your not going to be that hard on her if she does more. I may be biased tho because I had a bad experience with cigarettes my dad started smoking when he was 18 as the years went on he eventually became a chain smoker and then at 45 he passed away of lung cancer I was only 16 years old.

    Therefore I hate cigarettes something as stupid as that can cause so much damage. Gee, thats the same argument I gave my parents forty five years ago. But we know more now. Shes not going to meet any more undesireables smoking than not smoking. If shes smoking, she has become the undesirable to other, nonsmoker parents.

    Its the chemicals in the cigarette that are addictive, not the social custom of smoking. Since you don't smoke the smell is going to be pretty disgusting for you, and you don't want her stinking up your home or your clothes and hair. With that understanding make sure she doesn't smoke at home, but on the patio, or terrace, just as in many workplaces, second hand smoke is dangerous to you. Shes already defied your request that she not smoke at all, why on earth do you think she will listen at all to you when it comes to being unsupervised now?

    You are giving up your moral high ground here, and for no purpose at all. Shes not mature, mature people don't use chemical pacifiers and thats what a cigarette is.

    Her stress levels, between school and working and making straight As may be too much for her and thats why shes smoking. If you can afford it, let her be a kid and not work. If she was my child I would by her a case of cigarettes and make her smoke the whole thing until she turns green. Then stick her clothes in her closet so she is reminded of it for a long time. I have a friend that just let her daughter smoke because it was just phase and she is still smoking after 30 years and trying to stop now.

    She thinks it's cool will I would show her just how cool it really is. Yellow teeth, skin and hair, the stink is unbearable. I guarantee it will work. Im guessing you have been really great parents seeings how she's came and told you about it- but was she asking or basically just letting you know?

    Maybe if you tell her you really don't want her to be doing this do to the harmfulness of it, but she may do what she wants as long as she promises not to start lying about it. Well im not sure If i helped but like I said you seem to be a great parent since you're daughter is telling you she smokes and she has straight As so if that is the case she will probably tell you anything she is involved in in the future depending on how you take this.


    Mother lets daughter smoke cigarettes